A verse to reflect on
﴿وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا﴾“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be good to your parents. If one or both of them reach old age with you, do not say to them “uff”, and do not repel them, but speak to them a noble word.”
al-Isra’ 17:23 · translation of the meaning · Quran.com
Allah joined kindness to parents with worshipping Him alone, and forbade even the smallest word of irritation: “uff”.
Before you stand at the Kaaba in prayer, make sure your parents are pleased with you: by serving them if they are alive, or, if they have passed away, by praying for them, giving charity on their behalf, and keeping ties with the people they loved.
The hadith
“May his nose be rubbed in dust, then may his nose be rubbed in dust, then may his nose be rubbed in dust.” It was said: who, O Messenger of Allah? He said: “The one who has his parents, one or both of them, in their old age, and does not enter Paradise.”
Muslim (2551), narrated by Abu Hurayrah
“May his nose be rubbed in dust” is an expression of loss. Parents are a wide door to Paradise. Connected to this is keeping family ties; the Prophet ﷺ said: “The one who cuts off will not enter Paradise” (al-Bukhari 5984, Muslim 2556), meaning the one who cuts off his relatives.
Story: Uways al-Qarani
The Prophet ﷺ told his companions about a man from Yemen he had never seen, named Uways, who had a mother to whom he was devoted, and said that if he swore by Allah, Allah would fulfil his oath. He said to Umar: “If you are able to have him ask forgiveness for you, then do so.”
Whenever reinforcements came from Yemen, Umar would ask them: is Uways ibn Amir among you? until he found him. He asked him about his signs and they matched what the Prophet ﷺ had described. So Umar, the Commander of the Believers, asked him to pray for his forgiveness, and he did. (Muslim 2542)
The lesson: a man who was not famous, raised by his devotion to his mother until the Prophet ﷺ told the best of his companions to seek his prayer.
Practical step
Call or visit your parents, tell them you intend to make the journey, and ask for their prayers and their goodwill. If they have passed away, give charity on their behalf and pray for them.
And reconnect today with a relative you have not been in touch with for a long time, even with a message.
The dua
﴿رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا﴾“My Lord, have mercy on them as they raised me when I was small.”
al-Isra’ 17:24 · translation of the meaning · Quran.com
You ask Allah to have mercy on them in a way that repays their effort in raising you, something you could never repay them yourself.
A question for self-reckoning
What do your parents, or one of your relatives, need from you in this period before you travel?